Advice for New and/or Old Husbands - Part I

There are few things I've observed over the years that I think all new husbands should be aware of.  Women often think differently about things and I don't think I (or any other man) will ever truly understand the women we live with, but you can still just stick to some simple rules to stay happier in your relationship.

Logic is not the only way to think.

Most men are logic thinkers.  A+B always equals C.  If A is an unproven argument then the conclussion C is not valid.  This is great in the business world, but it is never going to work in a personal relationship.  Logic thinking is very comfortable to men.  When we encounter a problem, whether it be "how do I  get across the river" or "why is my wife crying", we tend to fall back to our good buddy Logic to assess the problem, design a solution and implement the solution.  Unfortunately, your wife is not a Rubik's Cube--which is a good thing because I can't figure those out either.

The human being is a fantastic creature, both male and female.  For whatever reason, the Grand Design of life allows for great diversity.  So fella's open your heads and let go of Logic.  It works when it works, but it isn't the only right way to think.  Your wife will do something like this... A + Yellow equals C.  You will have no idea where she came up with Yellow.  She probably won't either.  Now "C" will be the same "C" you got by A+B, but she won't get there the same way.  A+ Yellow = C is still completely valid even if you don't understand how she got there.  You aren't "more right" because you can prove your arguments--Logic isn't superior in this example.

Often there is more than one "right" answer to any question.  When dealing with your life partner on an issue, you have to question whether your "right answer" is worth hurting her feelings.  This is true of all personal conflicts, not just husbands and wives and not just men and women.  Men often get caught up in being Right.  It isn't enough to just get our way--we have to be Right.  We always have to be Right, decisive and confident.  It's just a guy thing.  But when it comes to your wife, guys, let it go.  A happy wife is much more valuable than proving yourself Right and crushing her spirit.  Again, there is more than one correct solution to any problem (short of mathematics).  This doesn't mean you never get to be Right, just be careful that you don't make being Right more important than being married.

To summarize, don't use Logic on your wife or, at least, when you do and it doesn't work, don't assume she's wrong and you can prove it.  Women generally have very high opinions of the men they love and when those men prove them wrong or quash their opinions it really hurts their feelings.  There have been times in my life where I *knew* something was right.  I couldn't prove it, but I felt it and as it turned out my hunch was correct.  I bet we all have had some similar experience.  Think of this as how your wife works.  She *knows* something.  She isn't sure why or how and she can't prove it, but more often than not she'll be correct.  Trust her.