Around the country I see a growing concern about the issue of being gay and gay marriage. Most recently, Kansas enacted a constitutional change to define marriage as only between a man and a woman. Folks seems to be very concerned about "gay rights" and making sure that we protect family and prevent "special" rights.
What I think most people fail to understand is that the Gay Marriage movement is not about hurting "the family" or "special" rights. Despite what some law makers would like, gay americans are still americans. That means they are citizens of the United States of America. That means they should enjoy all the same rights and privliges of all other citizens. The "special" rights that these americans seek are 1) the right to pass on inheritance after death, 2) the right to pass on parental guardianship of children after death, 3) the right to make medical decisions for an incapacitated partner. Is this so much? Are we so dispassionate about being gay that we would deny fellow citizens basic civil rights regarding death, love and illness? Is "the family" hurt by allowing these things?
When a gay partner dies, if they are fortunate enough to have adopted children, these families can be torn apart by misguided relatives. Children are small loving machines. They unconditionally love their families regardless of how they are composed. We aren't serving them by taking them away from the only family they have. Often a family that chose to help them when they had nothing and no one.
Unfortunately, people die. What happens as their health fails and after they die is something I'm not comfortable having the State handle. Imagine if you had to watch your wife die slowly and painfully with no control over how she was treated and then when she finally died to lose everything that was hers--no memory left behind. Why would we enact laws to encourage this? Why do we need to hate the gay community so much?
These rights aren't special--they're basic. One might call them "inalienable" and "self evident". They are rights given to all citizens, not just the ones we choose. I am ashamed to be a Kansan. I am ashamed to be an American. In the face of this rank hatred I only gain hope by remembering that civil injustice has been defeated in the past.
In the 1960's most of America was ignorant of the issues faced by black americans and when people started to die over the conflict, we took notice and we forced changes. We the People forced changes. The government resisted until it was too apparent that the People would not stand for it. I hope that every American that ever spoke out against equality is now shamed by what they did. I hope that we could learn from that painful lesson that denying human rights to other humans is wrong--WRONG--no mater who the human is or what they look like or who they love. Black, White, Male, Female, Gay or Straight we are all citizens of this State. We ALL deserve the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We have all been created equal. Whether we are many or we are few we all deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. It is not okay for the majority to disregard the basic rights of other citizens who happen to be a minority.
This struggle is starting today. It will grow and grow, as hatred does, until it can not be contained. But it doesn't have to. The intolerance and misery inflicted on this community can be ended if we all do something--even if that something is to challenge our own friends in their way of thinking. History will repeat itself. Either we will change our course before things get really bad or we'll change it after--like we did in the 60's. Personally, I won't wait. I don't read more and more stories about hate. I don't want to see hundreds of young men and women hurt and torn apart because of who they love. Regardless of what you may think of them, they are people! They do love and they do hurt and they are a family. What would you do to save your family? Do you think they'll do less? Do you think they love less--hurt less?
Years from now when all these issues are resolved and we've accepted gay citizens. What will you think of your actions in 2005? Did you vote for laws encouraging hate? Did you stand by silently while other citizens died--while families were torn apart? Or did you speak out for equality, love and compassion?
I know what I must do. I know what I want to tell my children as they grow up. What I want them to remember about me as they talk to their children.
This site is only one of many. I encourage you to open your eyes and see the things that happen in your state and your community. Tell people your views. Help those that need it. Welcome all people in to your hearts.
http://www.hrc.org/
