Beyond the Sea: September 2006

Saturday, September 30, 2006

From 6:30 Friday to 6:30 Sunday every other week

I've been divorced for some years now. I've since remarried and have a new son as a result. But I still have my other two from my first marriage. As the short years have rolled by, my time with them has been ever shrunk from full 50/50 to, now, only every other weekend from 6:30 PM on Friday to 6:30 PM on Sunday.

I have to go on record to say that there is not a thing that's fair about divorce and there must be some better way.

I hope that the line stops here and that I'll aways get at least this much. Of course, I'm completely paranoid that I'll lose more. I steel myself to the realization that what I've had is probably more than I'll ever get again. I suppose this is a feeling all parents must face, divorced or not. It just seems more precious to me. I know there is very little I can do to change the way this works out. I just try to do the best I can whenever I see them. I try not to miss them too much when they're away--my family needs me to be there for them too. Still I wish I didn't have to and that all my children were with me all the time.

If you know a divorced father out there, give him a hug and tell him it will be okay.

I always try to remember that I can't solve every problem and that I can only do my best. Life has many challenges with many outcomes great and small--with triumphs and defeats. I have faith that I'm doing is what I should be and is all that I can. Still, I wish it could be more.

Chandler, Sabrina, Gabe and Amy, I love you all very dearly. I always have and I always will.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

An Epiphany

Through several random thoughts that I won't attempt to recount I hit upon a potentially profound thought.

What if we all stopped trying to figure out who said what? What if we just didn't really pay too much attention to what Jesus said or didn't say... what Mohammad did or didn't say... what the Apostles said or didn't say. All of them got their messages from God and God speaks to each of us. We were given brains, thought and feeling to discover the messages that God (or Goddess) has for us.

Certainly there is wisdom in the words of the Prophets. Those words should be studied and pondered, but in the end... it is for us to decide what the message from God is to us.

I don't need to find an ancient scroll written by Jesus to tell me that he probably loved a woman (Mary Magdalene or another). I know it to be true--for only a man that knew love could have found any wisdom at all. I do not need to find the passages where Mohammad spoke of Peace for all people--for it would be impossible for God to will anything else.

What the Prophets said is much less important than what God says to you. Listen to your heart. Listen deep in to your heart for there is God speaking to you. All the answers that humans have ever known started there. All the wisdom of all the ages is there in you. The same flesh and blood as any of the Prophets. You are no less a creation than they. God speaks to you as much as he has to them. We but need to listen.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Banned Books

Apparently some of these books were banned, at one point, for some reason or another. The ones in bold are the ones I have read. Which have YOU read?

1. Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz

2. Daddy's Roommate by Michael Willhoite

3. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

4. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier

5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain

6. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck

7. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling

8. Forever by Judy Blume

9. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson

10. Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

11. Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman

12. My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

13. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

14. The Giver by Lois Lowry

15. It's Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris

16. Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine

17. A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck

18. The Color Purple by Alice Walker

19. Sex by Madonna

20. Earth's Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel

21. The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson

22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle

23. Go Ask Alice by Anonymous

24. Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers

25. In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak

26. The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard

27. The Witches by Roald Dahl

28. The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein

29. Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry

30. The Goats by Brock Cole

31. Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane

32. Blubber by Judy Blume

33. Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan

34. Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam

35. We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier

36. Final Exit by Derek Humphry

37. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

38. Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George

39. The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison

40. What's Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras (gah, that was a horrible experience LOL)

41. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

42. Beloved by Toni Morrison

43. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton

44. The Pigman by Paul Zindel

45. Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard

46. Deenie by Judy Blume

47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes

48. Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden

49. The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar

50. Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz

51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein

52. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

53. Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)

54. Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole

55. Cujo by Stephen King

56. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl

57. The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell

58. Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy

59. Ordinary People by Judith Guest

60. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis

61. What's Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras

62. Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume

63. Crazy Lady by Jane Conly

64. Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher

65. Fade by Robert Cormier

66. Guess What? by Mem Fox

67. The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende

68. The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney

69. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut

70. Lord of the Flies by William Golding

71. Native Son by Richard Wright

72. Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women's Fantasies by Nancy Friday

73. Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen

74. Jack by A.M. Homes

75. Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya

76. Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle

77. Carrie by Stephen King

78. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume

79. On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer

80. Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge

81. Family Secrets by Norma Klein

82. Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole

83. The Dead Zone by Stephen King

84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain

85. Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison

86. Always Running by Luis Rodriguez

87. Private Parts by Howard Stern

88. Where's Waldo? by Martin Hanford

89. Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene

90. Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman

91. Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett

92. Running Loose by Chris Crutcher

93. Sex Education by Jenny Davis

94. The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene

95. Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy

96. How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell

97. View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts

98. The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder

99. The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney

100. Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

Banned Books

Apparently some of these books were banned, at one point, for some reason or another. The ones in bold are the ones I have read. Which have YOU read?

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Random thoughts about war

So I'm sitting here in a Guam attending a presentation on roaming and the speaker is for a regional provider in Saipan. He's droning on about the area and the history of his company. Its good to remember the details that make up the history of your company and country. But in the middle of it he mentions that Saipan includes the smaller isle of Tinian where the Enola Gay took off on its historic flight.

It struck me that in that moment this businessman is celebrating an event that killed over 100,000 human beings in one firey instance on August 6th, 1945. While I know this event probably saved many thousands of lives and ended a horrific war I still have a problem "celebrating" it. This history needs to be remembered. But I think it needs to be remembered for what it was, one of the saddest days of human history.

Despite 1000's of years of demonstrated proof we have not learned that killing people you don't agree with is not going to really solve the world's problems. I believe in soldiers. I believe the military can be nobel. I believe you do have to fight sometimes to protect yourself. But you should do it with tears in your heart. Tears for a failure where no other course was possible where this son did not have to die.

I'm here on this trip with Atif. A colleague and fellow engineer. He is a devout Muslim and I think I respect him more than any human being I have ever met. He is quiet and unimposing and a strong believer in peace. He has taught me a great deal about the true way of Islam. I am eternally grateful for this insight. While any religion can be twisted away from its true purpose, I am filled with almost a shame that I have not learned as much about peace as this man. These people we now fear and blame for our issue today--they are not the targets... they are not the responsible... Yes the men that destroyed the World Trade Center called themselves Muslim, but even so how many did they kill? And how many have we now killed? And what kind of system of measure is this anyway where we must count the lives destroyed, the deep paralyzing sorrows dealt, and the children orphaned?

It is grim work ahead of us. Grim, messy, bloody work. We certainly can't just stop this war in Iraq... the lives sacrificed have been too costly. We must learn and heal. One side can not win. We can only win together with these people.