If we think of all Time as an ocean where all "moments" are like individual water molecules, then living any moment (any *possible* moment) is only a matter of putting yourself physically in the right place of the time ocean. Each adjoining moment is related to other so by hopping from related moment to the next you create line the forms what we individually perceive as a time line. Exactly which moment we jump to is mostly likely defined by probability. Like a current of electrons flowing in a large conductive media we flow through the time ocean. Our perception is of where we've been and vague idea about where we're going--a line.
Now the number of possible paths is infinite (or so large as to be nearly infinite). Do we each have out own lines? Is my past unique to the path I took and no other consciousness has followed me here? Or has an infinite number of "me's" followed me to this point and now we're all branching off in the many possible directions? Or does this universe blaze a trail through the ocean that we all share in? With perhaps many other universes doing the same?
If I could go back and find the exact time ocean moment of my conception and prevent it, I could conceivable have no impact at all, for what I have more likely done is jump to a different moment where I was not conceived. However, in the great time ocean I am still born somewhere... and so I can be in a moment where I don't exist. Interesting...
So to follow this analogy a further, time flows like a current. What induces Time Current? If time itself conforms to some of the conventions of Matter, then perhaps there is "time gravity" and "time attraction". Perhaps them certain possibilities in the time ocean are more nodal than others... perhaps they force many currents to them, making them difficult to undo. In this definition they truly could not be undone... but only "not experienced" to that observer... which isn't quite right. If I placed myself in to a moment where I did not exist I would not have made my personal experience unobserved... I would have still seen it in the other moments. But the moment I was in would be without my past influences... The "Wonderful Life" syndrome.
An interesting side effect of this could be everlasting life... hehe... What others perceive as my death may only be their observation in their own moment... I exist in a multitude of other moments. In fact I am dead and/or dying in a multitude (perhaps an infinite number) of other moments right now. However, my observation goes on in others.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Wednesday, May 3, 2006
The Garden of Eden
I was pondering the other day and thought I'd capture the ponderance...
I was thinking about the Garden of Eden and if death occurred there. I find it hard to believe that all of creation was undying and everlasting prior to Adam and Eve mucking it up. And even if it were, why punish all of creation just because of a couple of dumb humans? So my premise is that nature was as it is today in the Garden of Eden... the natural order of renewal and death already established and that Adam and Eve were a part of it.
So what really happened with the Tree of Knowledge? It couldn't have just been about sex--at least not entirely. What I thought of in my ponderance wasn't carnal knowledge but simply the knowledge of life and death. Prior to this awareness, Adam & Eve only knew that life "was" and that the Sun rose and set. Living in complete harmony in a system designed to be perpetual. Certainly the cycle of life went on all around them. Perhaps God kept them from being part of the food chain, perhaps not. Is the deer constantly fearful of being eaten by the lion? Or does it just *live* in its moment of food, sleep, mating and raising offspring. The moment of death would be fearful for certain, but is the deer aware of this? Is not knowing something of a blessing?
To follow this thought to the end, I would think that the Tree of Knowledge made Adam and Eve aware of the cycle and then somehow made them seem not a part of it. The very thoughts we have of being external to nature and not part of the cycle are our gated buttresses keeping us out of the Garden today... I think the knowledge Adam and Eve discovered was self awareness and the perception of our own deaths.
I was thinking about the Garden of Eden and if death occurred there. I find it hard to believe that all of creation was undying and everlasting prior to Adam and Eve mucking it up. And even if it were, why punish all of creation just because of a couple of dumb humans? So my premise is that nature was as it is today in the Garden of Eden... the natural order of renewal and death already established and that Adam and Eve were a part of it.
So what really happened with the Tree of Knowledge? It couldn't have just been about sex--at least not entirely. What I thought of in my ponderance wasn't carnal knowledge but simply the knowledge of life and death. Prior to this awareness, Adam & Eve only knew that life "was" and that the Sun rose and set. Living in complete harmony in a system designed to be perpetual. Certainly the cycle of life went on all around them. Perhaps God kept them from being part of the food chain, perhaps not. Is the deer constantly fearful of being eaten by the lion? Or does it just *live* in its moment of food, sleep, mating and raising offspring. The moment of death would be fearful for certain, but is the deer aware of this? Is not knowing something of a blessing?
To follow this thought to the end, I would think that the Tree of Knowledge made Adam and Eve aware of the cycle and then somehow made them seem not a part of it. The very thoughts we have of being external to nature and not part of the cycle are our gated buttresses keeping us out of the Garden today... I think the knowledge Adam and Eve discovered was self awareness and the perception of our own deaths.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
My Anniversary
Today is my 3 year anniversary... and this is something I wrote...
There is nothing compared to the beauty of the stars above
nothing compared to the heat of the fire within
They dance and shine with the light of love
They glow with passion for the hopelessly smitten
Often when my heart is low and full of doubts
When demons circle and darkness looms
I remember her in our home and out
I picture her and my spirit blooms
She is so much to me
She is all of my life
More than I can be
My Wife
There is nothing compared to the beauty of the stars above
nothing compared to the heat of the fire within
They dance and shine with the light of love
They glow with passion for the hopelessly smitten
Often when my heart is low and full of doubts
When demons circle and darkness looms
I remember her in our home and out
I picture her and my spirit blooms
She is so much to me
She is all of my life
More than I can be
My Wife
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Summary of Easter
I just wanted an excuse to post this compromising photo of my mother-in-law. Yes that is a big ol' blue bottle of wine. We do live in Kansas after all.
Easter at grandma's was fabulous. Great family, great food, great kids, great loot. In no particular order. While the whole weekend had it's ups and downs, I still had a good time.
I've been voraciously consuming data on opening my own business. I'm considering a franchise outlet. I may be crazy, but anything is better than what I've got going on now. Since I seem to love to play games and folks always say "do what you love" I'm going to try to do it. I'll give y'all more later.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Random Stuff
Yesterday and today have been pretty good. I'm between project phases at work and that makes everything a lot easier. The little road trip was really good even if it was a sad event. The weather is turning here and everything is in bloom. Amy has a big test today, but after that we should cruize in to a smooth weekend with the kids.
I've been jonesin' to play some d20 Modern lately. I have a swirl of ideas I'd like to play out. Guns, angels, and werewolves... oh my.
Friday is tax return day. Gotta love that.
Got in to a 30-man raid in World of Warcraft last night. It was alright, the group I was with had a bit of a whacked loot method that left me with nothing... Sucks to get in to a 30-man and not get a single drop. But it was a fun to play in a new instance. I have 2 characters at 60th level, one has pretty crummy kit, the other has passible kit. I have another character at 52 that I've been working on building up in my spare game time.
I'm not sure what I'll do this weekend. Probably do stuff around the house. We've made some slow progress at finishing it. Seeing the new stuff go up is pretty cool.
Hey, life is pretty good. Things change all the time. Its hard to remember to look forward to the happy unexpected things. Too easy to get down in the crummy things.
I had some insights in to time again... Obviously we perceive time in a linear fashion, but what if we didn't. Imagine time as an immense ocean that you could swim in... up, down, side to side... The concept of past and future would disappear. Think of what that would mean... no concept of "past". All the events you remember would just be different spots in the ocean... perhaps even all event at once. This creates the closest approximation of "forever" I can really hold in my head. There are no beginnings or endings. For some reason our consciousness holds on to the thread of time thru the ocean of possibilites. If we could but learn to swim...
I've been jonesin' to play some d20 Modern lately. I have a swirl of ideas I'd like to play out. Guns, angels, and werewolves... oh my.
Friday is tax return day. Gotta love that.
Got in to a 30-man raid in World of Warcraft last night. It was alright, the group I was with had a bit of a whacked loot method that left me with nothing... Sucks to get in to a 30-man and not get a single drop. But it was a fun to play in a new instance. I have 2 characters at 60th level, one has pretty crummy kit, the other has passible kit. I have another character at 52 that I've been working on building up in my spare game time.
I'm not sure what I'll do this weekend. Probably do stuff around the house. We've made some slow progress at finishing it. Seeing the new stuff go up is pretty cool.
Hey, life is pretty good. Things change all the time. Its hard to remember to look forward to the happy unexpected things. Too easy to get down in the crummy things.
I had some insights in to time again... Obviously we perceive time in a linear fashion, but what if we didn't. Imagine time as an immense ocean that you could swim in... up, down, side to side... The concept of past and future would disappear. Think of what that would mean... no concept of "past". All the events you remember would just be different spots in the ocean... perhaps even all event at once. This creates the closest approximation of "forever" I can really hold in my head. There are no beginnings or endings. For some reason our consciousness holds on to the thread of time thru the ocean of possibilites. If we could but learn to swim...
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
My friend Chris McDermott
As serendipity would have it, one of my aunt's died on the 7th. Her name was Christine McDermott. She was an aunt on my wife's side and I only stayed with her a few days last year. Our family went down to celebrate the wedding of Chris's daughter and she graciously invited us to stay in their home. She made us welcome, which was no small thing to invite a family of 5 to stay with you while you held your daughter's wedding. We had a great time, I got to meet all the family in Chicago. Chris and her husband Charlie made that happen for me. I'll always be grateful.
My wife's family is a very strong Irish Catholic clan mostly in Chicago. It's a large family--closely bonded, fiercely loyal. They are amazing. I can hardly comprehend my good fortune to be part of such a group.
We drove to Chicago and back to attend. So it's been a full 4 days for us. The emotional journey of a funeral is too complex to relate in a short note. But over all the strength of family shown through. Although it was the saddest of occassions it was a good trip.
My wife's family is a very strong Irish Catholic clan mostly in Chicago. It's a large family--closely bonded, fiercely loyal. They are amazing. I can hardly comprehend my good fortune to be part of such a group.
We drove to Chicago and back to attend. So it's been a full 4 days for us. The emotional journey of a funeral is too complex to relate in a short note. But over all the strength of family shown through. Although it was the saddest of occassions it was a good trip.
Saturday, April 8, 2006
Whiteoak Hero Day
There was a band of brothers and sisters known as Clan Whiteoak. Together they shared many adventures and discoveries. While time and distance have faded these events in to fables and legends we still hold this day, 4/7, as the day of rememberance for our Heroes.
So Huzzah! to our legends, to our friendship, to our families, to those still with us and those that have been lost. Honor to you all and may our House live forever. *toast*
I love you all.
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