Ramblings...

Things are going a bit better.  I'm still swamped at work and I still have more going on at home that I'd like (mediation, kid stuff, keep up, etc), but I dunno, feels better.  Maybe it's Spring.  Of course my hayfever is kicking in horribly.  But then I think I get a sort of Zen from constantly sneezing as you can't really think of anything else while you're sneezing.  I can sneeze for a good solid 15 minutes non-stop.  That's a work out unto itself.

Even so I look forward to Spring and Summer.  Winter here is so meh.  It's not really cold and it's not really nice.  I'd rather have one or the other.  But sort of constant gray and chill isn't all that special most days.  It does have its moments.

A couple of weekends ago the wife and I got away for no reason other than to just be out driving and no place to go.  We went to Abiliene and Salina.  No reason... just a random small town to visit.  But the drive was pretty.  At some moments it wasn't hard to imagine Kansas as it used be a couple hundred years ago.  There seemed to be a kind magic at work in someplaces that just kept those locations from aging.

In two weeks my wife goes in for gallbladder surgery.  While considered minor nowadays, it's still worrisome.  A week later I have a business trip to Cabo St. Lucas in Mexico.

I really had no idea where Cabo was when I signed up, really I didn't.  As it turns out, Cabo is on the extreme southern tip of the Baha penisula.  Which puts farther south than the tip of Texas by a couple hundred miles.  It looks like a paradise from the hotel ads.  But I've often discovered that vacation spots are an uncomfortable mix of excess and poverty rolled together.  Still, it's someplace new and it's by the sea.  I love watching the sea.

 

More book ideas...

I've thought about one called "Prince of Whiteoak".  A few years ago, a family whom I considered some of my best friends lost their son, Ian who was only 11 years old.  He had be playing at a local swimming hole on the bank of a river with is father and sister and lots of other kids.  But somehow he got tangled in a tree underwater and before anyone knew what happened he was gone.  The news was shocking.  I only met Ian a few times.  But knowing the family, he was sure to grow up to be one of the better people on this Earth.  Ian was best friends with one of his cousins.  I've often pondered how hard that was for him.  So in that way that's impossible I dreamed of ways to help heal this family that I loved so much.  Being a friend, I felt helpless to do anything meaningful.  I dreamed that Ian had crossed over to land of fantasy that touched on our own dreams.  That in this world he was a Prince and needed to save his world.  So he reached out in dreams and pulled in his cousin each night while he dreamt.  Together they would live out grand adventures together.  Of course, I've never written this or any other book.  But I still grieve a little for Ian... for as little as I knew him and for his family that misses him.  I wish... ah, but what good are wishes?

 

 

Not all that much happening

Another day, another dollar.

Days still go by.  I'm probably in a bit of a rut.  Nothing really bad and nothing really good.  Oh I don't like to get too down here because things for me are not all that bad.  But I'm just not excited about my life right now.  It just seems complicated and hard.  Most of the time I struggle between one giant problem and another.  If a week goes by with no giant problems, it's a good week.  There are no triumphs.

However, I still have a great family, a home, a job and good health.  So I can't really complain.  It makes me sad to see Chandler and Sabrina leave every day.  It's like a constant reminder of the time I'll never have with them.  Every time my ex is within vision my anxiety level rockets upward.  I still have too many bills.  So I have all these nagging little things that keep me from being really excited about things.  Dunno.  Just wish it was a little happier.

Hmmm... I probably should dig in to planning fun things to look forward to.  Maybe a light house project or two.  One of my buddies is having a big camping party in June.  My anniversary is coming up in April. 

Anyways... just some thoughts on a page. May you find $100 on the sidewalk today!  Why not wish some boons on friends?!

Damn the Lottery

I still haven't won this damn thing.  How hard can it be to match 7 little numbers? *grumble*



Life goes ever on nearly oblivious to the lives of Hobbits.  Sprint sucks.  Family is great.  Kids are doing well in school except for my oldest who seems to like avoiding work at school.  Garage door opener broke.  Van needs a new headlight.  We lost one of our two gerbils with much trauma.  I drove to Salina and Miltonvale on a spur of the moment road trip last weekend.  That's the summary.



I talked to a work buddy about a new job.  Doesn't sound like a good fit, but might be better that what I'm doing now.  Otherwise work is... well work.



I feel pretty bad about the gerbil.  He was a cute bugger that liked to sniff at you when you blew into his cage.  Very cute.  He didn't tolerate petting though so he wasn't cuddly.  He's absolutely disappeared without a trace.  We accidently left the cage door open while we were gone for the weekend.  When we got back one gerbil was on the counter next to the cage and quickly scooped him up.  The other was just gone... we've not found any trace of him.  Of course he's prolly dead somewhere, but still I hope he's just holed up somewhere next to some food and water.  I won't mind if he nibbles in to my flour. *sigh*



I got my World of Warcraft druid up to 49th level.  Ben wants to get up to 51 and then start playing Alterac Valley (a battleground map in WoW) for good gear.  I might be so inclined.  Of course you have to run AV like 40 times to get enough honor to get the gear... but whatever.



Message to everyone:  Stop hating so much.  Most people just want to be happy and eat some roasted marshmellows--whether they are Christian or not, white or not, gay or not, married or not, rich or not.  At some point one side has to decide not to punish the other side even when they deserve it.  May that day come soon.

More rushed stuff

I've been in an uber rush lately.  I had a Reston trip last week and I was sick on Friday and then had a pretty full weekend.  Today has been crazy as heck.  But I think I've gotten on top of the pile now.

Let's see... if there were a word of the day...

I'm not sure what it would be.  But it would mean "dreaming of green meadows near a small town on a warming Spring day and playing in a rock bottom, clear water creek with not a care in the world and the promise of a warm baked dessert when you got home."

At 35, life seems so incredibly complicated.  I'm not really sure where's its going, but it doesn't look good.  But jumping off doesn't appear to be an option either.

Anyways... I watched The Bourne Identity on Saturday and it was really very cool.  Might have been the highlight of my weekend.  I got a free subscription to Net Flix this Christmas and I must say it's pretty cool.  I'll probaby get The Bourne Supremacy next.  I still have Shoa Lin Soccer and something else I can't remember at home.

My oldest boy went home sick today.  This means he'll probably end up at home tomorrow too and I'll have to stay home to watch him.  Amy has classes all day on Tuesday so she can't stay home with them.  No biggie really, I like having the excuse to stay home.  I keep hoping some lottery ticket will sweep me off my feet and take me away to a mountain somewhere--with high-speed internet of course.

I hope life is treating y'all well.  If you see some stars tonight... think of me staring at them too...

Just to get the last depressing blog off my screen

Sheesh... I gotta follow up on the crapola posts faster.



Nothing grandiose here.  I'll be out of town all week so that I can meet with the new team I've been re-organized in to.  Three fun filled days discussing departmental strategy, performance reports and budgets... wee.

2005: A Year of Tragedy

I don't know if it is just because I'm an "adult" now, but it seems 2005 was pretty rocky.  When I think back over all the world events the hit us and try to ponder the lives lost.



If you stretch back to Christmas 2004 you have the Idonesia tsunami... hundreds of thousands killed.  Then as you go in to 2005,  Katrina wipes out New Orleans.  The war in Iraq claims over 40,000 civilian casualties. Terrorists bomb London.   Earth quakes in Pakastan wipe out entire villages.  Israel evacuates the Gaza Strip amid rampant violence and conflict.  And in Africa millions die silently, nearly unacknowledged by the west, of AIDS.



With so much it is hard to fathom what a person can do.  How do you answer a million voices all asking "why?"  The scope is so overwhelming as to be paralyzing.  Even an entire nations resource could not prevent these events from happening.  But we can not be silent or passive.  We must all seek to be aware of the world.  The day we ignore these events while the world suffers will be the first day of an inevidable revolution.  But worse, it will be a sad day for human nature.



I don't know what I can do.  I give a little when I can to Red Cross.  I try to be helpful to those in my reach.  Maybe if we can just all help a little.  But whatever we can do, we can never ignore these events.  Never say, "well it's not me" or "they are so far away".  People are people every where.  Even angry people love someone.   Even when it seems the help is too little or underappreciated, keep trying.