The Best Vacation

     I think this vacation might have been the best I have ever had.  I don’t have any way to measure all the wonderful vacations I’ve experienced before and I can’t be 100% sure that other great vacation might not be better, but these last few weeks with my mom, Chandler, and Sabrina have been cherished.
     I had not physically seen my two oldest kiddos for a whole year.  I last saw them in June 2008.  They had their birthdays in October.  We did not get to spend Christmas together.  Spring Break passed us by.  But with a similar effort necessary to capture a hurdling comet, we took a chance opportunity to fly them here to Wellington.
     I’ve posted some pictures and one small story about an excursion.  I will probably post more.  But what I will remember most is the days and days of endless giggling between all three of the kids.  Gabe, Chandler, and Sabrina spent hours just laughing and playing together.  All day they could just goof.  No matter what we actually did as “An Activity” for the day, they always played.
     I have come to realize that no sound is more loved than the assortment of clunks, giggles and snorts of 3 kids tumbling about.
     I had to take our visitors to the airport yesterday.  I am so happy to have this short time with them.  It still hurts to see them go.  One of those things I can not change.  Missouri just is not close to New Zealand.
     I find myself wishing I could explain it all to them.  To tell them that there will always be plenty of space in my life for them--that I would love nothing more than to have them stay.  But I don’t want them to feel like they have to choose and I know that children love both parents with all their hearts.  I know they wonder why I can’t just live next door to them.  But that is a very long explanation full of adult complexities.  Sometimes I wish someone could explain it to me too.  Not because I don’t understand it, I just don’t know exactly how to express it.
     Our lives are a baffling mix of self-determination and fate.  No parent can give everything that a child wants to them.  I am humbled by the realization that what we fail to give them probably shapes them more significantly than what we do give them.  I will always do everything I can for them.  I hope they don’t judge me too harshly on what I couldn’t give them.  This mix of fate and decision has moved us very far apart.  But I love them just the same.
     They are probably just arriving home about now.  Hope they had a safe and easy journey.  I hope the rest of the summer is magical for them—in the same way that I remember the long slow days of summer.  I will call and write often.  We will make everything ready for them to come again soon.
    Thanks, Mom, for bringing them to us! I know it’s hard to navigate all those airports with kids.  I can not really tell you how grateful I am for it. Thanks to Tom too for putting up with you being gone for month!  Gabe, Amy and I can not wait to see you all again.  Take care and talk to you soon!