Ramblings

This blog is going to have no point... don't try to find one.



A strange day of futility... Ever have one of those days where you start off asking "why me?" only to answer yourself with "cuz that's life and you're nothing special."  You'd like to think you've been singled out for torment, but in reality you are just another person going through their day with their own trials and tribulations.  If you were singled out... at least you would have qualified for special treatment and being something worthy of divine notice wouldn't be all bad.



But I'm really not that special.  My life is exceedingly "not bad".  I'd like to think that wanting to drive a spike through specific co-workers is a great problem, but it is nothing.  My greatest problems are nothing.  My life is so shaded with blessings I have trouble getting really fired up about anything.  It is the "not bad" thing that probably keeps all of America asleep.  We have few fears of real danger.  We have more than we need in most cases.  In a pinch we can help each other.  How could we really complain about anything.  How absurd we must look to the world.  What would they think of our insipid blogs (if they had computers to read them).



I suppose is boils down to what is a person.  Compared to society, I'm just a middle-class working husband father of 3.  But who am I really?  What did I do on this Earth?  What did I enjoy?  I wonder if anyone cares.  If I am carefree or worn with worry, in the end will anyone have noticed?



I think many struggle to leave some mark on the world.  Odd when you consider the world will end someday... what will all the marks of all the people who have lived matter to the Universe?  They seem important to us--to our children.  They make up stories we tell.  So for a while we will be remembered.  Always this need to be remembered.  Of course billions go unremembered today.  But some how if we are "great" we will have some longevity in the minds of those that come after us.  However, none of us is really great or really small...



Many have hit on this notion.  All men are created equal... Love thy brother... We will be free... All of them shades of the same... that we are all the same with our own collections of strengths and weaknesses--but fundamentally the same.  So perhaps remembering one of us is like remembering all of us.  I suppose all of us are products of the sum of human learning.  None of us grew up isolated on an island.  We've all learned from someone who learned from someone else... all that we know we have taken in from one of us back to the begining.



So in that sense I am the living Mark Twain... the living Jesus... the living Mohammad... the living Martin Luther... the living Einstein... all that I've learned from those that have passed.



Ramblings... ramblings...



I wish it was easier to know yourself... and also easier to show yourself... and that no one would attempt to judge the greatness or smallness of who you were.  Since in the end we are all great and small.  That what we are is what all of humanity has been and is becoming.