Viva Las Vegas

I'm going to Las Vegas tomorrow for a work conference.  The telephone powers that be are still trying to agree on how to play nice in the data market.  So this is a big deal international conference to talk about it.

While I've stopped in Vegas before, I've never actually left the airport.  So I'm pretty excited to see it.  We're staying in the freaking Bellagio.  I didn't pick it, thats where the conference is.

Thanksgiving was good, but busy.  So busy I had to squeeze my own mom out of our visiting schedule.  But with non-stop stress and drama going on for the last month and in to the foreseeable future (trip and all), I just need the weekend.  With that extra time we actually did a tiny bit of remodeling which I felt really great about.  Then, of course, one of the kids came down with a fever.  But that's family life.

In case you ever wondered, being divorced is amazingly hard.  It never seems to get easier either.  I keep waiting for a "normal" time, but I should know better.  Every interaction is going to be a mine field of past, present and future issues.  Stack that on top of the insane goings on at work and I have this very, very bad brew of stress at work and stress at home.  I don't seem to have a safe haven anywhere.  I constantly worry about doing something wrong or saying something wrong or not doing the right thing at the right time.  Generally the consquences for mistakes result in crippling stress where I can't do anything both at work and at home.  I miss my folks and friends in Nebraska terribly.  But there is no time to visit or get away. 

I think (at the moment) I'm keeping on top of it all.  I'm signing some re-financing this week that will ease the monthly cash flow.  I've had some crucial things fixed around the house and the kid sharing schedule has been finalized somewhat.  So it's not all doom and gloom.  Of course, I'll have to go through legal re-negotiation again this year which will disturb all that again.  Several work projects need to hit (and hit hard) in January.  So I think some of the issue is that I just can't see a time when it won't be crushingly stressful.  Of course nothing can be cut or put on hold, all of it needs to be done now. *sigh*

Even the trip is really more stressful than exciting.  I could use the time at work to complete projects.  Plus, dumping the house on Amy for 3 days is uber hard on her.  Maybe this weekend will be calm!  hehe.  Oy! I just keep buying lottery tickets and the damn numbers just won't hit.  I think it's rigged.