It's supposed to be a high of 14 degrees with a low 9. Right now it's 12 and that effing cold. That's cold that cuts right through a regular coat. Stylish glove? Ice boxes! Slacks? Might as well be naked. This weather demands in-your-face-boy-your-ass-looks-huge parka, heavy scarf and big ass dexterity reducing man-mittens. None of which I have. So I will be chattering like rabbid squirrel with tourettes all the way to work while ham-handing the steering wheel with numb, shivering flesh clubs.
This cold that when the actual air that you breath hits your nasal membranes, your body actually goes "holy cow, my skin is freezing" and then begins to run just to keep the surface warm. This of course freezes to your mustache along with the condensation from your breath.
By the time I arrive at work I'll barely be conscious, frozen and frosted in the not-so-attractive way.
Tomorrow will be just as cold. So why don't we hibernate anymore? I easily have a season of fat to burn...
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