Beyond the Sea

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

A Journey Home

Virtually everyone knows I'm flying to Kansas Friday to visit family and friends. But for everyone that I virtually know, I'm telling you now. I'll be picking up my 2 kiddos in Kansas and spending two weeks with them and my folks in Nebraska and camping (Ozarks).

While I am excited to see everyone some aspects of the trip worry me. The cost of the flights were much higher than expected. Our budget does not support this kind of expense at all. I got lucky with some bonuses to cover this trip. The other worry is just seeing everyone again. It was pretty hard to actually pack up and go. I mostly pushed through it because there was too much momentum to stop in January. The house was packed, I had resigned, my new job was about to start... at that point there was almost nothing to do except get on the plane. But now is different. Of course I have to come back to NZ and I don't feel any tugging desires to stay in the US. I am far from done with New Zealand. But now I am spending two weeks with everyone I had to leave behind... After 5 months away, I know the most frequent topic will be "what's it like?" and "was it worth it?"

The short answer is that, so far, it is worth it. It is amazing and one of the most profound growing experiences I have ever had. The problem is, I feel quite guilty about it. I couldn't take my oldest 2 kids with me. That gnaws at me. I know that I had very limited options to do more for them in Kansas. A change was coming no matter what. Sprint has nearly fully imploded, if I had lost my job in that, I would have been forced to move out of Kansas in very different circumstances. I also firmly believe that living here will extend my life span by 10 years or more. I will try to convey this to my 9 and 10 year old children, but it so hard to sell "big pay off later" to "a lot of missing you" now. I know how I am going to approach it, but it is still hard. I have two weeks with them and then I have to go home again. I know I'll get to come visit again, but I'm not sure when. That is also a hard sell.

I know I will have a great time. I know I will love being with everyone. I know I personally will not feel bad about going back. But right now, I am still anxious.... worrisome... guilty about enjoying this move at the cost to so many others. I'll get over it, but that's where I'm at today.

I love the lyrics of Paul Simon... one of his tunes is playing in my head now. You can read them directly as if they were prose and then you catch the tune mid-way and start to hear the notes.

"Tonight I'll sing my songs again, I'll play the game and pretend. But all my words come back to me in shades of mediocrity like emptiness in harmony. I need someone to comfort me. Homeward bound, I wish I was, homeward bound. Home where my thought's escaping. Home where my music's playing. Home where my love lies waiting silently for me. "

My folks have a computer so I will try to write. I am taking some camera type things with me. I will be pretty electronically spotty though. At least I'll be in the same time zone! I know this post seems a bit over somber. I'm not down--just pre-travel anxious. I suspect I will be very relaxed once my flight lands in Kansas City.

See you all soon!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Turakirae Head Scientific Reserve

For Mother's Day we took a seal colony adventure. The NZ Department of Conservation maintains several beachs as preserved Fur Seal colonies. These are advertised extensively in tour guide website, but it took a bit of work to actually find the location myself and skip the $70 per person fees. Very few areas of NZ are actually "restricted" you just have to be willing to walk to them. So after a little work I found the Turakirae Head Scientific Reserve.

The Turakirae Head refers to the head of the Turakirae river as it exits to the South Pacific. It is located on the East side of the Wellington bay (the side we live on). There is a low, but impressive range of mountains on the East side of the Hutt Valley (we live in Lower Hutt). Over that range is a another township called Wainumata. The route to Turakirae tooks us over that range and straight South to the river head in about 30 minutes. I finally saw my first full-on NZ sheep farm on this drive. We also saw several miniature ponies as well as horses, cows, llamas and goats. At a few bends with tall pines you would have thought we were right in the middle of Colorado before it filled in with Denoulder Springs... It was a pretty drive.

Most NZ nature reserves start the same way... an unmarked dead-end road. There are few "visitor centers", no rangers, and usually not even a parking lot. Turakirae was no exception. We parked at the end of the paved road and walked the very rough gravel road, over the river (via a narrow concrete bridge) and to the fenced reserve.

The gate to get in was primarily designed to keep out sheep (which were on the gravel road, by the way). I was bumping my gut and my butt to squeeze through--of course I was wearing a backpack. No visitor center means, no water and no food. So we have learned to always carry bottles of water and some One Square Meal bars. And since the boy guzzles water and backwashes... he gets his own. On any given hike, I am carrying more fluid than a camel. These pictures (all posted in my NZ Nature photo section) do not do the reserve justice. This is the real ocean on the South Coast. Nothing is slowing down the waves from Antarctica. Here is the opening view. The river charges out of the valley head long in to the surf. The effects are dramatic. It was very windy--probably 30 or 40 mph sustained. We walked a good ways out toward the bend where the seal colony is supposed to be, but we decided to save it for a better day. But we did take a few pictures of the family. Here's Gabe and here's Amy. The beach did have a lot of seaweed and driftwood, but virtually no shells. Gabe found only one, but it was a doozy.

The reserve was virtually abandoned. Miles of the coast were totally abandoned. While only about 5 miles from the nearest town, it felt like you were alone on the shore. It was amazing, open and beautiful. The drama of the high hills, crashing waves, breath-taking wind combined to overwhelm your sense with unquestionable power of the elements. I can't wait to go back again and go all the way around the bend. Then I bet I get you some pictures of seals. Overall, it was a great, easy adventure.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Where would you be?

I was thinking to myself today that while a Friday is a pretty good thing during the work week, what would be better? This morphed in to if I could be anywhere doing anything right now, what would it be?

My first impression was at the top of a mountain sitting on the porch of a warm cabin looking out over the valley. I have a big bowl of thick beef stew and fresh bread. I’m wearing a flannel shirt, jeans and cozy socks. While it is only 3:00 in the afternoon, the sun will soon dip behind the western peaks. But I have a stack of wood and a big stone fireplace inside. Amazingly I also have broadband internet and satellite TV. Some football is on tonight and I have a batch of nachos waiting for it. Sometime during the early evening it will begin snowing, but by about 11:00 it will have stopped and become clear. After the game I can shrug on my heavy coat and stand outside to marvel at the sparkling snow. All the mountains shine in the full moonlight and the stars… Oh the stars! They twinkle with such beauty that your smile squeezes out tears.

When I’m too cold to stare at the sky any more, I’ll head inside to bed. In the morning I have eggs, toast and thick slabs of bacon. After breakfast, I’m going snow boarding with my kids. When we’re done my folks will watch them while I take Amy out for a nice skiing resort dinner and then we’ll walk and look at the small shops. Then back to the cabin for wine together by the fire.

Where would you be?